Thanks for calling. If you're reaching out to sell your soul, I'll already know and I'll be there soon. If you're calling to just talk, leave a message and I'll call you back when I can. Which will probably be soon. Talk to you then~
[The house is nice. Clearly lived in and in the process of still being decorated. There is a chair and string by the front door inside for some reason? Weird. He walks down the hall.]
This way to the kitchen. And yes, I live here with Esme and Eliza. Welcome to our home. Let's get you a drink. You feeling anything specific or shall I surprise you?
[Max will lead them into the kitchen. He pours fruit punch for them both. He traces the tops of both their cups to make the crystal of the glass seen and sets it at the breakfast bar. He motions for Rinku to sit.]
Here you go. Make yourself at home then we can chat when you're ready.
[Rinku climbs into one of the bar seats. She thinks for a moment, kicking her feet a little.]
That quest a while ago was... I didn't tell anyone I was going until we came back, so no one would get mad about me taking on too much. A couple people let me have it for that. But, uh... I didn't expect it to get, you know, the way it did.
I don't like hurting or killing anyone. All the blood and, I dunno, body parts all over the place in that fight -- that was way different than what I've done before, even when I have had to kill things.
It reminded me of... It was before you came, there was kind of a hostage situation kinda thing? But Neechan cut someone's arm off to save me, and I got grabbed and set the guy on fire to get away. I don't remember a lot of it. I don't wanna.
You would rather forget or repress the memories, it sounds like. May I ask you something? Because you gain no enjoyment in killing and pain, would you rather forget it entirely if you had the choice?
[Rinku blinks. She's about to respond, but pauses to think about it, sipping her drink.]
...I think if I actually forgot everything that scared me, maybe that'd be worse. I wouldn't know what to do if it happened again. And everyone would worry even more than they do now. Stuff like "are you sure you wanna fight, if you want to help you can work in healing or research or administration or something."
[The fact that she absolutely could not do any of those things aside.]
[Rinku isn't Muni, she doesn't know what that means -- but she's gonna nod and pretend she does.]
That's the same thing Neechan said. That everyone would still worry even if I got stronger. Even if I proved I was good enough, like I wanted.
[She picks up the cup in her hands and turns it to watch her drink swirl around.]
And the whole reason I want to be good enough is so if something happens to my friends again, I can help them and everyone else. I thought I was okay with that. Just... this one was a lot scarier than last time, and in ways I didn't think about before we went out. You were okay with it. Is that because you've seen so many things?
I've seen a lot. I've died before too. Nothing like being put in an iron maiden to be exsanguinated and then shot in the head.
[Sorry for the TMI Rinku.]
And I've seen a lot worse. I got used to it. You don't have you, you might never get used to it. In the end though, now? If something like that happens again, you at least know what it's like. You won't freeze. You'll know how to act.
[She doesn't know what "exsanguinated" means, but she pales enough that it looks like she gets the gist.]
I guess you have a point. You know everything, Davis-san.
[Kicky feet. She takes another sip of her drink.]
And I do wanna help. I know there are other ways to help the save-Ellipsa effort, but I can't really do any of them anyway. The Research Centre's working so hard, and the healers, and the politicians, and everyone else. I didn't used to be able to fight either, but I really wanted to learn, so I focused on that. I wanna keep going with that since I know I can do it, and it makes people happy when they're safe.
You keep people's morale up. That's important. Everyone else couldn't do what they do nearly as well as they do without a high morale. You can fight, defend yourself, and you help people feel happy. You accept them for who they are, as long as they aren't someone truly evil or commit evil acts, like that Relius guy. That's important, Rinku. Moreso than you realize.
[Rinku makes an unsure noise, but she looks at Max and thinks.]
I want to keep trying. I want to make everyone happy. More than anything. Thanks, Davis-san. [sniff] I wanna apologize for dragging you down, though. You had to step in after all because I couldn't handle it on my own. Neechan told me no one should be trying to take on high-risk quests alone anyway, but still, the deal was that you'd only have to do it if I needed help.
You're welcome. And please don't apologize. I did want to pick that one for a few reasons. One of them being to show you that some threats cannot be handled alone, even by someone like me. Helping people means letting them help you. It means working together to Happy Around, not doing it all on your own. You like it when people let you help them, they like it when they can help you back.
I mean, I had stuff that made me good against them, like light magic and charms against corrupted fae. But I still wasn't strong enough, so I needed your help. And that's why? Because you'd have to help in the end anyway, so... [give her a minute] ...so I could learn that.
...You mentioned the thing with Clover-san. Is this about that? Because I knew I wasn't strong enough to help, and that's why I wanted to try high-risk quests again?
[It's not like she was secretive about that, so it'd be easy for Max to have known she wasn't there and why. The other half of that "why" being that she'd just been recovering from mind control herself.]
You're getting the lessons. We can't always help directly in a fight. But you can help after or in other ways. Keeping people away from the danger zone. Helping restore morale after the fighting is done. Warning people about repeat danger, like with Mr. Clover.
You can help, Rinku. You can make a difference. It isn't always through violence.
[Rinku slumps a little and thinks. Drinks her juice.]
I know. Other people have said that too. Is that because no matter how strong I get or how hard I try, the other people around me will always be way better? I know that, and I know they probably think that too... but I still wanna keep trying. This is what I can do too.
But that doesn't mean the other stuff isn't good. And I can do it. Most of it, anyway. I didn't even suspect anything was wrong until it happened. That kinda happens a lot with me.
[Max is quiet for a moment. A soft expression finds it's way onto his face.]
Rinku, no matter who you talk to, who you look up to, whoever you look up to or look down on, there is always someone stronger. There are people and things and being stronger than me. There is, always, a bigger fish.
If you want power, to be a bigger fish, that takes more than hard work. That takes deals, invention, and you to do things. Some good. Some terrible.
[Rinku blinks a few times. She kicks her feet a little and looks at her drink, then at Max.]
Maybe that's not the right question. I mean, if I made more deals like that, it'd just make them worry, and if I did something bad, it wouldn't be helping at all. It's kind of like what caused this whole thing in the first place, right? When... [She screws up her face to think of the names she's been told.] Prince Louis listened to the Pierrot instead of his brother, and let him put all the stolen powers into him and ran away, and then all this stuff happened.
[Not to mention that he, you know, exploded not long after, so he didn't even really benefit. But.]
Some people talk a whole lot about evolution or being naturally better. And I guess a lot of people here seem like they're naturally better. But it's like you said before, one person shouldn't do it alone. And even if I'm "just" a human, and I used to be normal, and I only learned to fight here, it doesn't mean I can't keep trying.
[She looks at Max, guileless. Wondering, of everything he's said today, which he's really getting at -- but maybe thinking all that's a little complicated. She sets down her glass and starts to draw a spiral shape with her fingertip on the counter.]
Hm, let's see... When I'm happy, I can't stop spinning. Records and CDs spin when they play. And a lot of seashells, they spiral out like they're spinning, too. And when you spin, it's like, 「Happy Around!」 You know? It moves outward in a circle, like the shells. Happiness spreads out that way too!
So I think, even if I don't take it, I'll keep changing here the way I have been, and I'll always keep getting better than I am now. Even if I'm not a god, I'm just me. And maybe that's still good enough. Because it really isn't about the power in the first place. Getting stronger's about what I can do for everyone else, and how they're all doing their best too.
Sounds like you've found a path to walk after all. Spinning around, spreading your happiness out in that Happy Around spiral.
People worrying about you isn't always a bad thing either. Depends on the amount of worry. Everyone worries about the people they care about, the people they love. That's natural and good. Now, if you start inspiring panic attacks, then there might actually be an issue.
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chiming
no subject
Date: 2024-12-13 05:06 am (UTC)From:Come on in. We can chat in here. You thirsty?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-13 05:14 am (UTC)From:Kinda. [She looks around the house to see what's there. Oddly for Rinku, she isn't getting distracted by every little thing.] Is this where you live?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-13 05:26 am (UTC)From:This way to the kitchen. And yes, I live here with Esme and Eliza. Welcome to our home. Let's get you a drink. You feeling anything specific or shall I surprise you?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-13 05:27 am (UTC)From:[She tilts her head and follows along after blinking at the chair-and-string setup. Maybe it's a magic security thing?]
I guess whatever you have? I don't really not like anything, I don't think.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-13 05:31 am (UTC)From:[Max will lead them into the kitchen. He pours fruit punch for them both. He traces the tops of both their cups to make the crystal of the glass seen and sets it at the breakfast bar. He motions for Rinku to sit.]
Here you go. Make yourself at home then we can chat when you're ready.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-13 05:43 am (UTC)From:That quest a while ago was... I didn't tell anyone I was going until we came back, so no one would get mad about me taking on too much. A couple people let me have it for that. But, uh... I didn't expect it to get, you know, the way it did.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-13 05:46 am (UTC)From:You did it to prove to them and yourself that you could. And battle never truly goes as anyone expects it to. Does it bother you? All that death?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-13 05:50 am (UTC)From:I don't like hurting or killing anyone. All the blood and, I dunno, body parts all over the place in that fight -- that was way different than what I've done before, even when I have had to kill things.
It reminded me of... It was before you came, there was kind of a hostage situation kinda thing? But Neechan cut someone's arm off to save me, and I got grabbed and set the guy on fire to get away. I don't remember a lot of it. I don't wanna.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-14 05:01 am (UTC)From:You would rather forget or repress the memories, it sounds like. May I ask you something? Because you gain no enjoyment in killing and pain, would you rather forget it entirely if you had the choice?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-14 05:06 am (UTC)From:...I think if I actually forgot everything that scared me, maybe that'd be worse. I wouldn't know what to do if it happened again. And everyone would worry even more than they do now. Stuff like "are you sure you wanna fight, if you want to help you can work in healing or research or administration or something."
[The fact that she absolutely could not do any of those things aside.]
So even though it hurts... it's important, right?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-16 01:22 am (UTC)From:People will also always worry. They care so they worry. Even if you become the strongest fighter in the multiverse, they will still worry.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-16 01:26 am (UTC)From:That's the same thing Neechan said. That everyone would still worry even if I got stronger. Even if I proved I was good enough, like I wanted.
[She picks up the cup in her hands and turns it to watch her drink swirl around.]
And the whole reason I want to be good enough is so if something happens to my friends again, I can help them and everyone else. I thought I was okay with that. Just... this one was a lot scarier than last time, and in ways I didn't think about before we went out. You were okay with it. Is that because you've seen so many things?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-30 01:36 am (UTC)From:[Sorry for the TMI Rinku.]
And I've seen a lot worse. I got used to it. You don't have you, you might never get used to it. In the end though, now? If something like that happens again, you at least know what it's like. You won't freeze. You'll know how to act.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-30 01:40 am (UTC)From:I guess you have a point. You know everything, Davis-san.
[Kicky feet. She takes another sip of her drink.]
And I do wanna help. I know there are other ways to help the save-Ellipsa effort, but I can't really do any of them anyway. The Research Centre's working so hard, and the healers, and the politicians, and everyone else. I didn't used to be able to fight either, but I really wanted to learn, so I focused on that. I wanna keep going with that since I know I can do it, and it makes people happy when they're safe.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-02 01:14 am (UTC)From:[Max nods.]
You keep people's morale up. That's important. Everyone else couldn't do what they do nearly as well as they do without a high morale. You can fight, defend yourself, and you help people feel happy. You accept them for who they are, as long as they aren't someone truly evil or commit evil acts, like that Relius guy. That's important, Rinku. Moreso than you realize.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-02 01:22 am (UTC)From:[Rinku makes an unsure noise, but she looks at Max and thinks.]
I want to keep trying. I want to make everyone happy. More than anything. Thanks, Davis-san. [sniff] I wanna apologize for dragging you down, though. You had to step in after all because I couldn't handle it on my own. Neechan told me no one should be trying to take on high-risk quests alone anyway, but still, the deal was that you'd only have to do it if I needed help.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-02 04:59 pm (UTC)From:Do you see what I'm getting at?
no subject
Date: 2025-01-02 05:07 pm (UTC)From:[Rinku tilts her head and hums.]
I mean, I had stuff that made me good against them, like light magic and charms against corrupted fae. But I still wasn't strong enough, so I needed your help. And that's why? Because you'd have to help in the end anyway, so... [give her a minute] ...so I could learn that.
...You mentioned the thing with Clover-san. Is this about that? Because I knew I wasn't strong enough to help, and that's why I wanted to try high-risk quests again?
[It's not like she was secretive about that, so it'd be easy for Max to have known she wasn't there and why. The other half of that "why" being that she'd just been recovering from mind control herself.]
no subject
Date: 2025-01-03 04:56 pm (UTC)From:You can help, Rinku. You can make a difference. It isn't always through violence.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-03 05:49 pm (UTC)From:I know. Other people have said that too. Is that because no matter how strong I get or how hard I try, the other people around me will always be way better? I know that, and I know they probably think that too... but I still wanna keep trying. This is what I can do too.
But that doesn't mean the other stuff isn't good. And I can do it. Most of it, anyway. I didn't even suspect anything was wrong until it happened. That kinda happens a lot with me.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-09 04:56 am (UTC)From:Rinku, no matter who you talk to, who you look up to, whoever you look up to or look down on, there is always someone stronger. There are people and things and being stronger than me. There is, always, a bigger fish.
If you want power, to be a bigger fish, that takes more than hard work. That takes deals, invention, and you to do things. Some good. Some terrible.
Power never comes free, Rinku.
So, how powerful do you want to be?
no subject
Date: 2025-01-09 03:14 pm (UTC)From:Maybe that's not the right question. I mean, if I made more deals like that, it'd just make them worry, and if I did something bad, it wouldn't be helping at all. It's kind of like what caused this whole thing in the first place, right? When... [She screws up her face to think of the names she's been told.] Prince Louis listened to the Pierrot instead of his brother, and let him put all the stolen powers into him and ran away, and then all this stuff happened.
[Not to mention that he, you know, exploded not long after, so he didn't even really benefit. But.]
Some people talk a whole lot about evolution or being naturally better. And I guess a lot of people here seem like they're naturally better. But it's like you said before, one person shouldn't do it alone. And even if I'm "just" a human, and I used to be normal, and I only learned to fight here, it doesn't mean I can't keep trying.
[She looks at Max, guileless. Wondering, of everything he's said today, which he's really getting at -- but maybe thinking all that's a little complicated. She sets down her glass and starts to draw a spiral shape with her fingertip on the counter.]
Hm, let's see... When I'm happy, I can't stop spinning. Records and CDs spin when they play. And a lot of seashells, they spiral out like they're spinning, too. And when you spin, it's like, 「Happy Around!」 You know? It moves outward in a circle, like the shells. Happiness spreads out that way too!
So I think, even if I don't take it, I'll keep changing here the way I have been, and I'll always keep getting better than I am now. Even if I'm not a god, I'm just me. And maybe that's still good enough. Because it really isn't about the power in the first place. Getting stronger's about what I can do for everyone else, and how they're all doing their best too.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-12 12:59 am (UTC)From:Sounds like you've found a path to walk after all. Spinning around, spreading your happiness out in that Happy Around spiral.
People worrying about you isn't always a bad thing either. Depends on the amount of worry. Everyone worries about the people they care about, the people they love. That's natural and good. Now, if you start inspiring panic attacks, then there might actually be an issue.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-12 01:15 am (UTC)From:Thanks, Davis-san. For everything! You're always helping people, aren't you? Me, Neechan, your friends...
no subject
Date: 2025-01-16 04:42 pm (UTC)From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
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