melodymania: (Leave a message!)
Thanks for calling. If you're reaching out to sell your soul, I'll already know and I'll be there soon. If you're calling to just talk, leave a message and I'll call you back when I can. Which will probably be soon. Talk to you then~

Date: 2025-11-26 02:16 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, intense) (📺↮20)
exactly.
i got someone i wanna protect.
and if they get sent home
they end up in infinite time loops
doomed to fall apart
and dissolve into goo
painfully.
already been through 200 years worth of loops
so no telling when the goo happens.

i wanna make sure they never go back there again.
no cost is too big
aside from their soul
or my soul.
we need those
if i'm gonna keep spending time with them.

aside from that?
name your price.

Date: 2025-11-26 03:18 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, neutral) (📺↮11)
in that case
i definitely can't offer a soul
seeing as how i'm already dead.
and since i am dead
and immortal
i'd want nenonen to keep their soul too.
sorry bougre.


[... That's "bougre" as in "buddy" or "homie", not "bougre" as in "bastard".]

as for the details
world i can visit's works
wish i could say ellipsa.
but i don't know if that would work.
they're already here
i wanna make sure that they go somewhere safe
if ellipsa's magic bugs out
and sends them away again.

my world's for the dead.
if they show up in my world
they'd probably be dropped among the living
and there's nothing i could do for them there.
so
world i can visit's fine.

Date: 2025-11-26 03:34 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, annoyed) (📺↮09)
[...

He wasn't told Max was a Faerie. So his response is gonna...
Take a moment. Chipp's not as good with words as other people might be, but he knows that fucking up what he says here could stick him in some sort of bargain without even knowing the price, so...

...

H-honestly, he just unblocks Louis on the network for a moment. That's the only person he knows could talk to Faeries without stumbling into some sort of magical red tape loophole, so he'll send him a rundown, ask for help formulating a good response, threaten his life if Louis fucks with him over this, et cetera.
Reblocks him afterward, because obviously.

And then --]


sounds like a good deal
one i would agree to if i knew the price.
since i don't know the price
i won't say i agree.
but i like how it sounds.

also
that's only buddy in cajun french.
try not to say it around anyone from france :)

Date: 2025-11-26 04:03 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, intense) (📺↮05)
oh bless your heart
you're trying to haggle!
okay
i get it now
i can do that.

so
lemme put the biggest thing on the table.
the one thing i can offer
that i know most folks give a lotta value.

i'm a professional killer.
more than that
i'm a professional at kidnapping
jailing
and torturing.
and i specialize in doing this
for people who *others* can't keep contained.
now
personally
i keep my targets limited to criminals.
i won't hurt kids
i won't hurt animals
i won't hurt innocents.
but
that's just my usual code.

for nenonen
i'll do anything.

that said
i do got one limit on all that.
you can't ask me to hurt anyone they love.
so
just in case
if you got a target in mind
you gotta tell me with the space to tell you
"hey
that one won't work."

aside from that
fair game.
and keeping info straight
"fair game"
also includes stuff that ain't killing.

i'm also a roboticist
an artist
a gardener
a baker
and a chef.
but
i know most folks want the killing.
so i don't blame you if you do.

Date: 2025-11-26 04:25 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, unsure) (📺↮07)
[...

Servitude, then. There's another stretch of time, but not because Chipp's typing.
Just because he's gotta decide how he feels about that.]


two more things
then i'll decide.

1. they won't be stuck there?
once ellipsa's got the magic to make it happen
i can get them back out of it?
we wanna bring them to my world someday.
they'd have to die
but they'd be with me then.
can't do that if they're stuck there.

and 2. how long this debt gonna take?
i'm immortal man
i can't be your little buttmonkey *forever*.
i don't mind having a debt
but i won't agree to one that don't got an end date.


[...]

three more things.
3. they have shit health and a short lifespan
ten years left.
anything you can do about that?
wrap it into the cost?

Date: 2025-11-26 04:36 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, sad) (📺↮03)
first two sound good.
can't do the blood.
they're toxic
every part of them.
not the fun kind either.
bad kind.
kill the instant it touches shit kind.
its the reason they're turning to goo
body can't handle their own blood
their "essence".

i'm one of the only people in ellipsa
that's immune to it
and it's just cause i'm made out of magic.

Date: 2025-11-26 04:42 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, unsure) (📺↮13)
oh
no
i thought
you know
vampire?


[... He thought Nen had to bite Max. And was totally cool with that idea otherwise, yes.]

uh
i guess
as long as it doesn't change them
the blood thing's fine.
but they can't handle changing
their body i mean
won't even use animal shapes here.
so if drinking your blood does that
that's a no go.

Date: 2025-11-26 04:48 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, unsure) (📺↮113)
well
hang on.

no *physical* changes?
no tails or horns or whatever
bones sticking out
none of that?
will they still be them?

Date: 2025-11-26 04:58 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, goofy) (📺↮108)
as long as they're still them
then that works
i'll take it.

side effects are workable
we can figure something out.
workshop it if shit happens.

libido though
dunno if that's possible at this point
heh.
i love my lil nenett
but they're a worse horndog than i am.
which means
yknow
if it happens
i'm prepared.
if they get bitey when we're at it
so be it
won't hurt them drinking MY blood anyhow.

Date: 2025-11-26 05:07 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, evil) (📺↮78)
[There may be no fine print... but Chipp's still gonna take a second to read it over, just to make sure.
The pen's not taken, though. Grim Reapers don't sign legal documents with ink.
Not binding enough.

Instead, he overs his hand over the contract, and in a burst of light - like a laser hitting metal - a design not too unlike the eye on his screen is etched into the contract's paper, glowing a soft violet color once he's finished with it.
His divine seal. As a creature of divinity among angels and demons.]


yeah
you got yourself a deal.

Date: 2025-11-26 05:11 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, evil) (📺↮46)
same to you too.
before i leave you alone though
it's clear you can poof things around.
wanna send me a cup of that blood?
we can get them started now.
unless
you wanna be there for it?

Date: 2025-11-26 05:21 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, neutral) (📺↮39)
yeah
i get that.
in that case
you just tell me when you're ready.
i'll go get nenett caught up

merci.

Date: 2025-11-26 05:25 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] fauxbot
fauxbot: (screen, happy) (📺↮50)
well hey
i don't got plans
don't think they do either!
so lemme go give them the rundown
and i'll send you a text.
sound good?

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